You're 37 years old, been married for 15 years, and you're the mother of 6 (with one on the way). And after an arguement with your husband, he tells you that he's leaving you for another woman.
Yeah, let that set in for a minute.
That was how my journey with infidelity began. My father's infidelity was the reason why my parents split up. My mother was pregnant with me when my father left the family.
And I didn't know it, but this was a HUGE part of the reason why, in the past, I struggled to maintain healthy love relationships in my life.
To be honest, I didn’t know what that looked like -- aside from what I saw on the TV and in the movies. Little did I know that this one event in my life, left a whole in my heart. I longed for my father to choose us by coming back to the family.
So, can you imagine what happened to me? You guessed it. I tried to fill that whole in my heart with anyone who would show interest in me. And then, I carried all of that baggage into all THREE of my marriages. Yes! You read that right, I’ve been married 3 times.
And it wasn’t until I finally hit rock bottom in my 3rd marriage that I knew I had to do something different.
And when I say I tried everything, I mean EVERYTHING - including 20 years of therapy. And after enough counseling sessions to have a PhD in psychology, I still found myself stuck at rock bottom.
Deep down inside I wanted to trust my spouse, but every time an issue came up, I was reminded of how other men had hurt me and I would completely shut down.
I went to others I trusted for help (friends, family, spiritual leaders), only to walk away with the same old song: Find a good therapist, compromise, work out your issues, or just leave.
So after 20 years, 2 divorces, and countless counseling sessions later, I was OVER it!!!!!
It took me to hit rock bottom in my marriage, finances, and my business to see the root of the problem. And I can only give credit to God and the people he placed in my life for showing me the common denominator...all the time, it was me. I was responding to my marriage out of the hurt I experienced from my father’s infidelity and my previous marriages.
So, I shifted my focus from trying to save this last marriage, to working on me.
And that journey allowed me to work on my issues. Within 6 months, my life had completed changed:
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